The Beginning

Okay, so this whole world of blogging has intrigued me. Now here I am, putting myself out there for those to read.  I figured that there is so much to me, so much about me, so this first entry will be a little bit about me, about my life.

Im a young adult, living on my own, and have been doing so since I moved out of my parents' house to go to college. I must say that I have been doing the best that I can under the circumstances. Currently I am attending Dental School, trying to graduate on time and become a dentist out there for the community. Hence the title of my blog. The other piece of the puzzle comes from the fact that I am a single mother of a little boy. I entered into my first year of dental school pregnant, and had the sunshine of my life in my first semester.  A lot has happened since then and now.

I won't normally put out such long blogs, but because this is the first, this will be probably one of the longest to come.

Struggling through the first few years of dental school, I did what I could to support my family. But things began to take its toll. My relationship of 9 years fell apart before my eyes, and I couldn't do much to salvage it. He left not too long ago, moved back in with his parents. And, because of how taxing professional school can be, and with what I had just dealt with, my son went to live with him. We have agreed on joint custody, every other month or so. But what kills me is the fact that my school schedule makes that very difficult to follow. Midterms are coming up, so its either fail those and see my son, or go through another month without him so I can push through. I tell myself that this is all for him, that once I graduate and have a job that he won't have anything to worry about like I did growing up. But I'm always going to have those days where I want him here with me, no matter what.

Being alone and going to school is a hard thing to deal with, especially when you've always had someone around you, someone to come home to, someone to love you.  It hasn't been that long since it "all went down". Only a few months have passed. And what I feel hurts the most is the distance. I am hours and hours away from my son, and my own family.  My family....I use that in the relative sense of the term. To me, my family means we are related. End of story. I know they love me, and they want the best for me, but my childhood wasn't the most encouraging socially. So we don't talk, barely see each other, and thats just the way it was. Thats how it is. The one person that I know would've made it all better is my  mom. But she isnt here anymore. Four years ago she lost her battle with ovarian cancer, and went on to a better place.  There isn't a day that goes by that I wish she was here. We didn't really relate in the past. We had the whole, mother-daughter rebellion type relationship going on. I couldn't really relate to my mother the way that I saw other daughters relating to their mothers. Now that I'm older, and a mother myself, I feel like I need her more than ever. But she's not there to talk to, to see, to hug, to say 'I love you' to.  That's a hard pill to swallow.

So here's the whole point of this blog.....I just want to talk. To talk to others that have been in my situation, who have advice to give..and if I can give advice I will. Day to day activities will be posted, but don't worry, you won't have to hear about what I ate or how long I slept. Nothing that mundane. Stresses from school, family, life, everything that I feel I want said I will say. Of course, things will be "dental related", from time to time. So that's a short introduction to me, to my world. More to come in the future. Who knows where this will take us. I welcome the journey.